Stopped calling, stopped replying to my texts. I guess he has issues, and doesnt have time for me. Do you wanna keep doing what we are doing? Where exactly do I start ..cause I am soooo hurt to the point of anger!lol Just slow down. Of course, this deeply saddens me because after years of searching for good, kind-hearted, decent men, I havent found any that are straight. There was reciprocation on his part, we spent 3-4 days per week together every week, except when work schedules didnt allow. Second, society its so busy telling women that they are perfect (see your point two above), that women dont take the actions they need to, to improve the things that drove the man away. That would be horrible. Im confused and hurt. I know that people dealing with family issues can be distant and withdrawn but I just wanted to make sure everything was ok and hes ignoring me completely. Of course he really didnt have much to say about it, said he just got off work and was tired and didnt need the drama, he actually said it in a nice way! If he disappears I agree he must not have been interested, but if he pulls back then I wouldnt generalize the reason being hes just not into you, get over it. Its like if dating were black and white like that then there wouldnt really be a dating world, people would skip over dating and jump right into relationships like back in the day. I dont understand how we were doing so well and then he just disappears :s he stopped snapchatting in general as well, all his best friends are gone so he doesnt respond to anyone, I was his top snapchatter as well. He said to come by his house with him and his friend. When he reached out again to me I told him that I did not think we should go out again because I didnt feel we were a match/were compatible. but then he started talking about spending weekend in an island. No. I wont bother him anymore with texts and just wished him for birthday which is in Feb. We talked for a little bit, then I sent a mundane text about what I had for lunch, then I heard nothing from him. I have come across such a generous, good man once in my life and he is the only ex i have stayed friends with. I just cant understand how someone can go from being sooo close and attached to you to just no contact and so dry. Be grateful it wasnt any longer- you need people in your life who communicate out of honesty, not out of fear. And yes there are a lot of inconsiderate immature douchebags out there who give men a bad rep, just like women looking for placeholder men give other women a bad rep. My theory works, and i stick by it- friendship, then commitment, then love, THEN and only then is there any talk about long term future plans. I actually think hes having sex with someone else. Instead of sharing with you whats bothering him, hell simply disappear, without any explanation. He was somewhat possessive however. Where I finally lost it was when this guy told me that he had gone on a blind date with a coworker. I wasnt all for being with a married man, but at that point in time, I had just went through a very hard time in my life and this man came along and said and did all the right things. He always wanted me to follow his rules and he could tell me if he didnt like something. Its evident you cant deal with confrontation head on and act like an immature boy that rather take the easy yet cowardly way out. He is Polish American but didnt want to come here after his divorce almost 4 years before. Please help ease my pain. Or he ghosts and just disappears. All you did here was fail in your attempt to rescue an immature asshole. He should be able to tell you that hes not interested or that he thinks youre incompatible. She was in love with this guy. A week later, he initiated a second date and proposed to do it on Sunday. My guy at least responds to my texts, but we havent seen each other in three weeks and he hasnt made first contact with me since the 17th. Its better like this. Goodness. We love women, we want to be close to them and a chatroom or texting aint gonna cut it. Maybe something has actually happened to him? But, I would rather avoid her and try o pretend that I do not care at all about her despite my strong feelings for the lady. its one thing to fade after a first date- ive done that and i have it done to me many many times. Another thing that you can do when a guy disappears and then comes back is to ignore him. Prior to this we had spoken every day multiple times a day via text with funny pictures and videos and just overall hows ur day how was work what are you doing now. He told me I made him smile daily and that he couldnt believe he can fall anymore in love everyone he goes to bed. If he did t like me why didnt he politely tell me. I felt an immediate spark when we met and he asked me out soon after that. just like that. He would flirt and had a good personality and one day I suddenly looked at him differently. He had flaws but I love him for those imperfections. Your ex asks you to hang out. I have four ideas but will never know really which one it really is.. 1: his wife started to suspect something and they got in an argument and he got scared so he stopped contacting me.. 2: Hes started to see another woman and cant juggle 3 women at one time so he let me go. It wasnt until those days after I spent the night which was his idea. Blame it all on women because you dont like the state of things. OK, so now that we know why, lets talk about what to do to help you move on to greener pastures. And he didnt mention anything! Later that day I get the bright idea to face time him on my lunchbreak and he doesnt answer.So silly me I text him to tell him I just called, this asshole reads the text and never replies. He is 57 and I am 51; this isnt some lovestruck teenybopper relationship and one would think that at our age, we would know better to play games like ghosting. I would text him a checking in text about once a month for a few months. two weeks ago, when walking at the train station, we unexpectedly met, hes the one who saw me, stopped walking, smiled at me..i was so relieved and wondered what he had thought of me.. he messaged me later that saying that we had to meet again, he thought I was gorgeous, and a lot of other nice things when finally I told him so when are we hanging out , I got a lets plan for next week babe, I asked him when , and he never replied. On Friday I replied I wont meet you unless you have a great plan, he read it but didnt reply until the next day I didnt even expected him to reply this: Sounds like you didnt want to see me XD, i texted back I think I could say the same for you then he sent a lot of messages saying he texted me but I didnt reply him and blahblah. Boy have I got a must read for you. That you respect yourself and value your time, energy and emotional investment. Why am I doing that? If he dates other women because you and him havent discussed being exclusive that could be another reason why you might not hear from him for a day or two, hes juggling. Either that or he simply decided hes not that into you. He left hugging me tight and kissing me like everything was good. When the sudden shift of daily text stop, the no replies and stone cold silence ensued, this is when he claimed I was needy, pushy, clingy.you name it. I was just being myself, just like we were chatting on whatsapp, I dont think Ive been pushy or anything, I just went with the flow I felt we were having a great time and that he didnt want it to end (we stayed in the pub until we were asked to go because it was closing). To clarify I wasnt aware that he had an STD. FML,,The only reason I have tolerated this so far was because I really liked him as a person before getting attracted to him as a man..so I am looking for that person who I started liking before things got all weird and before he started acting wishy washy. So I ask I mean, how do you go out of your way to get my number from someone else, flirt with me at work text me and call me beautiful and make plans to hang out and shit then just out of no where you stop talking, you dont even want a hug from me any more, and you quit your job on top of thay now i really wont be able to see you anymore. Now, I understand women are getting more and more frustrated with this and I think men are doing this more and more as actually are women. The second, third, and fourth dates all went well also. Guys sometimes feel they are not good enough for the person they admire. Its been an entire night and all day and nothing. 3. Please I need some perspectives because Im very confused, this is gonna be very large. Also, the guy Im dating is not my boyfriend yet, which is another reason for me not to be all pissy about him not talking to me while he was caring for his sick mother. He can go for days without remembering me. They are magnets to co-dependents and vice versa. What do I do? We were talking and our conversation was fun and happy and then, because he works nights, we said goodbye. Sure its a cowardly way to go about it, but I am not as judgy about this than I used to be. But I cant handle it again. He says hes staying where he is and she lives in a nearby town. After a week I checked in him and he hasnt said nothing. Im destroyed emotionally. He may have told you differently; who knows, maybe he even thought he would continue the relationship once vacation was over. Married And if he doesnt text after 10 days or so, its not him taking a break, its him leaving or being disrespectful to you and your presence. Awesome chemistrym. :..(, Omg i felt like crying reading ur msgs im sorry lifes been so cruel. AND he is giving you the proverbial mindf*ck on top of it? Guys who care about you do not blow you off. And do this in a genuine but direct manner. I have sent a couple of texts just to see if hell respond and maybe tell me what is up, he responds, but that is it. The 2 months gap was also because I didn't text him first. first date was a carnival. We never spoke in school I used to know his brother thats about it. What did you end up doing? Then after that conversation he just vanished. Friday, he texted saying me missed me and i never heard from him again. He was clearly pulling away. I said ok and then theyd say theyll contact me tomorrow to ask about scheduling a time. Let me remind you of the #1 ultimate truth about courtship when you actually meet Mr. The other night when I was working with him, this girl came in to see him. He said that he isnt going anywhere. One minute, all fun and loving . I thought he was going to cancel but he didnt. Can I ask him to start over? Especially the one I feel the most for. An its been 4 days since he texted me or called me. I dont date men who ignore me for three weeks. Before you got really addicted to the game. What is known is that he wasnt in to you, for whatever reason. I wish I had closure. Hed tell me how he cant believe that this is happening, he would tell me its unreal, he would tell me how beautiful i am, he even told me how much I remind him of his mother. First of all, in his case ghosting doesnt mean that he doesnt want to continue with the relationship (as Ive learned after a year of seeing him); it only means that he want to pull away for some time and then he will be back (but you never know when). I checked in with him to ask confirm, radio silence. He did disclose during the evening that he thought I was beautiful but that he had never thought of himself as particularly handsome (again.. insecurity? We can all be guilty of acting like people-pleasers in the realm of dating. Up until this point we had a great relationship! Thank you. I could tell from his pupils he was using again and I was a bit standoffish that night which he realized and I told him I was leaving where before I basically would not willingly leave until I absolutely had to. and i said tto him multiple times ok youve lost interest which he denied. I've been dating a guy once a week for about three weeks. I wanna give a guys perspective here but only my own or a certain type of male perspective from the time I was guilty of doing this. Not that he portrayed to look like someone different but he wasnt what I thought. Then bam never heard or seen him again. At the train station he kissed me goodbye on the lips, said see you later and that was it. They said he was hanging out with his friend and he was fine. I know Ive been used just like the past 3 guys I met, all went well, all had ex issues they couldnt get over, then bam! Randomly the next day I get a message. He held my hand all day and called me babe like normal. When we would speak on the phone it was fine but again, the texts were different. It sucks that I lost my best friend and also the fact that I told him I like him too then he disappeared. We started to have sex and it was great for us both again we were a good match. All along we were never in a official relationship but for a girl its great to get contacted by a man and especially when you believe he is a good one. He would text me all the same here and there but wouldnt acknowldge my replies. I texted when I got home and told him I really enjoyed the night. I cant help but feel personally responsible, it upsets me because my drunk actions caused a guy to flee when I would never have acted that way sober. This week has been horrible. To this day I still dont know what happened, but although he chose to dispose of me like I was nothing, I am grateful that I am not with a guy that doesnt value me, because life is too short to be wasted on time wasters. Basically the night I was supposed to leave he told me via text that he suddenly couldnt handle the commitment then blocked me off of every social media outlet, including Facebook and we werent even friends! I ask why he vanished, he said he didnt. Sometimes it means he is multi dating. Sitting here crying now because dont understand what happened. You ladies are so freakin delusional its unreal. You just made his sound so clam. Just at the time you are convenient. He isnt a social person so I know hes not out at night and I know hes home most weekends. I leave in the morning for brunch, and dont hear from him the whole day. clearly this man, this thing that someone must have raised in a jungle with no morals or respect for others, has some serious issues to be able to treat someone with such disrespect and in such a hurtful & careless way. oh go marry a hunchback then and be happy yeah right BYE, Ashley, you are right. Its BS. The holidays come and we exchanged gifts and my first fail was sleeping with this asshole because I felt safe with him. Will he contact me? you only reply what I send, is that the way you think of me?.. we never have same schedule for going out, but you have time to go dinner with your friend I feel sorry for him, but I dont want to settle for less. There must be something you liked about what you had or else you wouldnt have had it. In this time he has told me that he wants to take things slow and eventually be serious with me, and I reciprocated those feelings. Recently divorced She may take that as a lesson moving forward in her interactions with people; to actually listen. However, don't bomb his phone with your text especially when he doesn't reply. I told him i need sometimes to think, he replied by saying that he likes me but he doesnt want anything serious because he just want to have fun but not in my expenses. It is a common practice at the stage if for whatever reason he was coming out of something or going into something more his speed and interest.. Me to trust him. I reject good guys and then this is how I get treated. Recently lost my car due to an accident and he was even letting me borrow his and was my main source of transportation. He has literally dropped off the face of the earth. I really need advice. I kept kissing him. Many are usually high on the narcissistic spectrum. Since hes not doing well this probably is not a good time for him to be focused on a relationship. If you are still asking why he pursued me then disappeared - this is a likely reason. I refuse to call or text him again, but i cant help but to feel extreme sadness and confusion. until we agreed to see each other. I broke up with my boyfriend 3 months ago after a year and a half of relatiionship for no reason. Called him a coward and a complete waste of my time. i was with him for several months and he pursued me, gave me flowers for valentines day, took me to dinner, picked me up in his car, spent weekends together, and made plans for future events. I feel so stupid sometimes cause deep down I want to hear from him. :). That was a simple innocent suggestion and I was so shocked when he replied, we should call things a day and move on!. It is very hard though because the sexual chemistry between us is very intense and 5 years is a long time and getting to know and get involved with someone new is something Im not looking forward to. Am I being naive? He drove me home and I was a bit confused. Men who are interested in YOU will be a tiny bit nervous, flirty, stare at you a lot, make plans, and most definitely try to get into your pants. In fact he told me that twice in about a months time. He has a habit of responding late or worst not responding at all to my messages and he has his reasons. Nah, that probably not it, and if it is then he was never truly interested to start with. Thanks for the advice it truly helped me out a lot :). He said that he was just too busy about his work and he wants us to stay in touch while hes away. Lol I didnt look for him, nada. At this point, I felt like a child being given an empty promise just to keep me quiet so I told him, its hard to communicate in Text messages and some things were better said in person. Texting makes it easier for people to disappear. in other words some women i have dated became less and less someone i could be with the more i got to know them. He texts me the next day good morning and brings up hes sorry but he thought it was still weird some of the things I said. if they dont treat us how we deserved to be treated then good luckif we dont see each other again then Ill see you in heaventhats if you get there! 1 was an on-again/ off again of 5 years who had an alcohol addiction, the other a player/a FB, the other was complicated and led nowhere because he was still pining over his ex and just wanted a friend, and the 4th was 30 years younger than me but mature for his age. He disappeared with a riddle of a text message that I dont have the interest in trying to decode. Anyways, we talked for 2 months over the phone and snap chats and a couple of Skype calls and he was on my Instagram. The first couple of weeks were fabulous! ( I dont smoke or drink by choice) I do have a lot of friends who do and I told him that as long as drinking and smoking is not a habit and a life style. Thank you.. this makes sense, explains behaviors of some, for me. Anyway cut a long story short, started chatting to this guy on Tinder,we are both in music so we understand the unsociable hours and the pressure that comes with it. That helps nothing. Unfortunately, these qualities are handicaps that blind you to reality. Me later. Kick that ass to the curb, hun. Comfortable asking him. on to bigger and better! I didnt realize this happened often! His phone went straight to voicemail, I texted him, no reply.My housemate then called his phone and it went straight to voicemail aswell. Or maybe her timing is off and hes pre-occupied for a full exchange. Also, I noticed. He came to say obviously we cant communicate. I think because the emotions and the things you both said to each other than do not mean nothing to him and he was playing you. I truly value my happiness and value as an individual. at the time, I was like whats wrong with me? Look upon this as he senses you need more space and so hes creating this until you show you want to close the gap. No its not! I decided to ask if he wanted to hang out. Get back on Tinder and keep dating til you find someone. Saying kindly delete my number, hes started talking to his ex, then changed the reason to he has enough friends. I never acted needy have plenty of friends and stay busy. as I dont want him to think that I am psycho, and thats what guys do, is they twist it to where we want them so bad. We talked everyday, he promised to make it work. So that night the last thing he said to me was a text message saying he missed me and to send him a picture. Why? He kissed me multiple times and texted me right after he got home to let me know that he got him safely. We have a great time, joke, flirt, meet again and have sex, which was amazing. anyways to be told to come over and then for him to hide in his house was a horrible way to be let down. Maybe something came upsometimes you never know what is going onIs he active on any other social media?If so, then he is a player and should not get any more of your attentionI would send him a message like Im assuming you are dead right now and your spirit is reading all my textsmay lord have mercy on your selfish rotting womanizing soul lolBut in all seriousness, dont text him ever, dont tweet him, instagram him, whatsapp him, or do anything stupid like reaching out to him ever again, until he contacts you again, believe me it works.block him if you have the strength(I wouldnt be able to but maybe you are stronger)And when he texts you (Which usually happens within the first to second month of NC which you are strictly going to follow but dont hold your breath) dont text him back till 24 hours latermake him sufferand be cool when you reply to him like you could not really care less anymore..Anyway by then you wont really care enough to even reply. Hes just not into you anymore. I left him a good voicemail, I was angry hurt and upset, actually in tears, as it was my birthday, my best friend died of a heart attack 2 months before, I cant find work and I have no family hereSo he did not call back. First he said I hardly had time to come on here (which I found odd but hes doing long shifts). Then one day, we talked like the usual then in the evening, I sent him a message and he didnt respond. It feels like hes hiding under a rock and you wont be able to stumble upon him until he decides its time for that. Trying not to be too needy, I supported him and waited. Dated a guy for a few months. we dated a few more weeks then he said he had to go on a deployment and he came to see me when he got back. Its been 3 months plus now, do you think time healed you? So the worst part is that now Im torturing myself not only thinking that he had this planned long time ago and just wast waiting for the day of stabbing me in the back like this, he either knew that I been living with my family and didnt get settled with a lease here in the USA because I had the hopes of seeing him again and he knew this same week my family treated me like crap, and I couldnt wait to get out of here and see him again and all those plans of this past week. This way your last memory of him isnt a whining, needy insecure man, just someone in pursuit of someone else who values his company and meets his needs. I am glad to see all theses responses even though its painful for everyone. Most women would have given up but I continue to believe that one day, I will met this special guy just for me and so should you. However, the older I got I started to think about it more and realised that if we (women) do not just contact them after they ghost us Yes, we do preserve our dignity BUT we continue to allow this behaviour to happen!!!!! I do remember telling him that I was not going to have sex with him and I am sure he at no point forced the issue in spite of our hot sex chat online. I have to thank you, you are so brave to share this kind of situation. In his city ughhhh. There are people out there who dont care about anyone except themselves, people who are cold and cruel, and this guy sounds like one of them. Thanks BLaw. All your friends are tired of you talking about them. If you feel like sharing a problematic thought, Im here to listen without judgment. Hey just want to share my recent ghosting encounter with you all, what do you think about this dude I was dating?? Since he works at the store I get my groceries from I used a different picture.. When we were together in the room there was plenty of kissing. I ended up leaving with my gf 20 min before the resto bar closed. and I can see hes now back in the UK but Ive heard nothing. The first time he did this was after we got intimate. Thing is he gave me his hard drive to put movies on and I still have it. It was supposed to be a fling when our feelings grew every time we met and i spent so much on him and chose him over work many times. The date goes well and we make out (though I was still not comfortable sleeping with him so I did not). Then told him It is not a good idea to see each other and thats all. Well I think its only me but thats why I cant let him go just yet. We met on Valentines and dated for about 6 months. And now I have someone constantly poking me on Facebook and sending me stickers who I consider a new friend, maybe more. Even though you ended up being hurt, it was better in the long run. Tell me honestlywould you? Shes a substitute for you but no strings. 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